Clever Hobbitses: Legal Disaster

Goblins are weird.

We all know this.

It makes sense that a goblin system of law would be… chaotic.

Turn to page 190 of your copy of Labyrinth.

“The Goblin Laws”

Enormous bulletin board covered in papers. These are laws. The laws of Goblin City.

I do a little riffing on this.

These are actually “potential laws.” Bills if you will. Any citizen of the Goblin City may submit a bill, once per day. A goblin justice will throw the ceremonial dagger at the board. Whichever is hit will be read aloud and declared law. The rest are discarded. The justice remembers (almost) every law and tells others how to enforce it. He’s part legislature, part shepherd to the goblinfolk.

Enter the four players.

There are already two bills on the board:

  1. All goblins must be riding goblins.
  2. None shall go outside without a pet.

Pretty zany stuff.

Then each player adds a bill.

  1. All goblins must do the worm wherever they go.
  2. Foods fights are mandatory.
  3. All goblins must help adventurers.
  4. All goblins shall be banished from Goblin City.

The goblin justice steps forward. Other goblins start protesting: “These’s can’t be laws! Them’s not fair!”

The justice: “The knife decidesssss the rulesssss.”

I roll a d6 in the open to see which is hit.

All goblins shall be banished from Goblin City.

The goblins. Their eyes widen. Some hiss, others scream in fright!

A massive wave of goblins exit the gates, the justice insisting that they pass a new law to undo the last law. And quickly!

“Alright guys, you have until the end of the session before they repeal your law. Then they’ll come back. And they’re furious. What do you do?”

They loot everything. Weapons, explosives, potions. They take it all. But encumbrance! They start throwing items into abandoned wagons and run with all haste to the Goblin King’s castle.

Christmas came early.

Clever hobbitses!

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