The Evil League of Evil

Lists, lists, lists…

This specific idea is one I stole a long while ago and have since forgotten it’s origin.

This is a campaign idea for Adventure Hour!, my answer to fantasy gaming with younger players, involving nothing more than a simple list.

We’ve talked about lists before. They’re quick items that are clearly visible for players to select from. Instant choices to be made. And role-playing games are all about choices!

Imagine your young players stumble across this list:

  1. Captain Hogg
  2. Devil Pig
  3. Dr. Ducksquid
  4. Minosaur
  5. Mr. Debonair
  6. Sabrina, Storm Queen

Yes indeed, it is the EVIL LEAGUE OF EVIL! (Yes, it is a fun, yet silly reference to Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog, thanks for asking).

The League keeps itself secret and they have NO CLUE that you now know their list of inner-circle members. What do you do?

But first, an introduction.

I apologize for the worst placeholder image of all time.

Captain Hogg commands The Pork Chop, a humongous sailed ship that can take to the skies (and even space!). He is leader of a gang of pirates of all sorts of beastly forms. He himself takes a large pig form, which he uses to sit on heroes and squash them into barnacle jelly. When he’s not sailing the seas or soaring the solar winds, Captain Hogg fancies himself a collector of many varieties of rare and tender meats. Of course, pork is prohibited.

That smile is only to hide his embarrassment for devilishly bad looks.

Captain Hogg’s rival is his red-furred, trident-wield cousin Devil Pig! He summons high-energy furry fire creatures with wicked sharp teeth with a merely wiggle of his snout. Beware of his explosive arsenal, which he uses no matter how flammable the spot he’s standing on. He cannot stand being made of for his devilish curse, and will do anything to defeat his rival who set loose a red dwarf djinn on him and gave him such radiant skin (complete with a forked tail!).

Smart villains are always purple.

The greatest mind of the League, Dr. Ducksquid is no duck, nor squid, but is actually the 200-IQ alien brain that crammed its way into the head of an unsuspecting duck (after all who suspects the personal invasion alien brains in the late afternoon?). The duck sprouted tentacle legs, which it uses to help construct all sorts of devious devices and inventions. The downside of having such a large, wrinkly brain is that its pink, fleshy surface seems perfectly visible and terribly vulnerable…

The name only makes sense if you SHOUT IT!

The MINOSAUR is the brute squad of the Evil League of Evil. He’s the muscle. Top half bull, bottom half dinosaur, no fury can match that of the Minosaur. He charges all enemies with his might horns forward and his axe swinging. If you can’t imagine that, I don’t know what to tell you.

Film noir wants it’s lighting back.

Mr. Debonair is a shadow. Nothing is known about this enigma. Spooooooooky.

Would casting Olivia Olson be too “on the nose?”

Sabrina, Storm Queen is outwardly the moodiest of the bunch, often storming (haha) out of League meetings before wallowing in some rain clouds. This is a charade. The truth is this she is by far the most ambitious and conniving of the Evils. It was she that set Hogg and Devil Pig against one another and will often “let it slip” what her “compatriots'” weaknesses are. Were it not for her control of lightning, thunder, and all things bad weather, she would’ve been given the title “Spider Queen” for her abilities to weave lies and cunning deceptions. She was even the one to leave that precious note with the names of all League members. “Clumsy” her.

How does the League anonymously make trouble for our heroes? What order will the players take down these members? How will other Evil members respond to their members being overthrown?

Find out next time on Adventure Hour!

There’s nothing more to this idea, I just think Calvin is hilarious.

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